Stay in the Conversation

And John, calling two of his disciples to him, sent them to Jesus, saying, “Are You the Coming One, or do we look for another?”
(Luke 7:19 NKJV)

John the Baptist was fully aware of who Jesus was. He grew up knowing it. He leaped in his mother’s womb when in the presence of Jesus. John’s ministry in the wilderness was preaching about Christ. He baptized Jesus and affirmed his belief with the announcement, “Behold, the Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world.”

John knows who Jesus is, but John’s faith is no longer in the wilderness; now it’s in prison. He’s facing death and he knows it. Here in prison, his faith is being challenged. He tells one of his followers to go find Jesus and ask him, “Are You the One? Or should we look for another?”

Some people would say this is John giving over to the fragility of his faith. I don’t subscribe to that. He’s not losing faith. He’s growing faith. Why? Because he’s wrestling. He is questioning. He is fighting. He’s trying to figure it out. He’s screaming back at his doubts, “I know that Jesus is real, even though I’m stuck in prison. I know that Jesus is real even though I feel that my life is ebbing away from me.” John is essentially asking Jesus, “You’ve still got me, right?” This is not doubt. It’s mediating the conversation in one’s head and in one’s spirit.

Whatever else is going on in your life and in your mind, here’s my admonishment, my encouragement to you: stay in the conversation.

Don’t withdraw from the challenge. I don’t care how hard it gets. I don’t care how much your uncertainties are screaming at you. I don’t care if they’re winning the debate today as long as you wake up tomorrow and you bring your certainties back to the conversation again.

Whatever else, no matter how fragile you feel, no matter how weak, no matter how you seem to be in a losing position, at least make this one assertion: “Regardless of how strong my uncertainty is, I’m not leaving the conversation.”

The questions you are asking and the feelings you are nurturing, the ambiguity and the presence of pain, the self-doubt, the personal disappointment, the fear, the anger you’re trying to make sense of… all of these things are forcing a conversation that is necessary for your growth. So stay at it, because just by staying in the conversation, your faith will be deepened.